Strange Little Mouse – Random Twitter Poem for September 18th
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Strange Little Mouse is a tale about finding a small critter in the backyard and was inspired by the word mouse and erinaceous (which means hedgehog family). Thanks for the 9 random words (in blue) provided by the people who played the twitter poetry game today:
@rockalong (magnetism), @Jemfyr (Sparta), @purple_froggy (pencil), @AnnEvanston (bumblebee), @RemBeatZ (erinaceous), @purplefrogcat (mouse), @concisionflux (chatoyant), @SurfCityJay (acquisition), @manitisle (sincerity)Strange Little Mouse
One day as a child, I was on a mission
to bring home a most unique acquisitionHe was no bigger than a bumblebee
digging in roots, around my treeAppearing as an erinaceous like mouse
I brought him home inside my houseAs small as he was inside my home
it must have felt like Sparta or RomeA playful critter he was, he kept nibbling
fancying and biting at my new chatoyant ringMagnetism of food, finally getting him still
I measured him against the length of a pencilThough this story seems a slight unreality
It is told with truth and pure sincerity-Poem by Dragon Blogger
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This poem has potential up until the last two lines. By referencing the story you are telling you pull the reader out of the narrative, as well as robbing the narrative of conclusion.
The poem would be better served by scrapping these two lines completely and instead relating what became of the mouse.
Henry.
H. Petrie´s last blog ..My Ideal Saturday
I agree with you, unfortunately my daily twitter poetry game, I am confined to learning the words and crafting the poem on my lunch break. I wanted 1 random word to be in each verse, and I was having a hard time coming up with how to include that random word in a verse that continued the mouse. Again, I collect and write these poems in around my lunch break and sometimes I have to rush them before I would normally finish them.
Cool story Justin!
Another one for your list of stories to write in the future, huh?
Z
Zorlone´s last blog ..Random Haiku Series
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Its amazing how the smallest things in life can inspire stories like these. Very interesting read to say the least.
Thanks for the comment
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